Thank God for Straight White Men

 

That headline is highly unfashionable and will not get me any job offers to be president of any university, but it’s true – straight, white men kick ass. It doesn’t hurt that I’m one of them, and it is incomplete to think ONLY people like me kick ass, we awesome people come in every flavor. But no group of people has been more demonized by the left than the people who, if we’re being honest, have done more for our species than any other.

It’s probably a hate crime at any of those “martyrs camps” on campuses to point that out, just as it’s probably a hate crime to point out just how much of the good things in life people enjoy – technology, medicine, clothes, various delicious foods – were the fruits of evil whitey’s colonization and work. True story, look it up.

That’s the reason no one on the left, while screaming bloody murder about some Kardashian sister braiding their hair being “CULTURAL APPROPRIATOR,” never bothers to hate the “colonizers” who invented antibiotics or the awful privileged monsters who created the cell phones they’re using to inform the world of just how oppressed they are as they wait in line at Starbucks to pay $10 for a cup of flavored warm water. 

If you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes. 

Instead, these entitled mutants run around college campuses while personifying the best argument possible for abortion as soon as ultrasound technology can be coupled with the ability to see what their baby will turn out to be. I know, that’s a horrible joke, but that’s only if you think it’s a joke.

Those people are terrible. Anyone removing an American flag to fly that of a terrorist state isn’t worthy of American citizenship. If they were born that way there isn’t much that can be done, but if they weren’t or aren’t, measures should be taken to make it clear they are invited to leave. 

Our fences and walls are not meant to keep people in, they are meant to keep people out, despite the way our mentally underdeveloped President sees it. Go the f*ck out, you will not be missed.

At this point, I can’t imagine how any of their parents would miss them.

Thank God for straight white men. As these idiots parade around the country, claiming to be victims, it was a bunch of fraternity brothers who rallied to protect the flag. First time was a UNC, then it spread like wildfire. Now groups of normal people, men and women of all different configurations, are stepping up to tell these post-digested food exit ports what they can do with their demands and terrorist sympathies. 

For many, it’s probably the first time they’ve ever heard anyone tell them “No,” or where it is they can go, blow it out, or do before dying. They’ll call it “bullying” because they’re weak, spoiled little brats, but the average 7-year-old would learn from it that what they’re doing isn’t good and would investigate as to why. 

These demand-heavy boobs, unburdened by intelligence or self-awareness, have likely spent their lives to this point getting what they want (aside from being smart, attractive, fun to be around, not smell like feel or not look like a justification for a burqa and a ball gag). But the pendulum has swung as far to the left as it’s going to, now is the time for snap-back.

It’s not going to be fun for them, but it will be good, provided they are capable of learning the lessons from it. If they can’t, screw them. In fact, if they can’t, that’s about as close to getting screwed as they’re likely to get, which is probably why so many of them are such miserable douches in the first place. The rest just come by their miserable douchiness naturally.

 Whatever the case, and should any of them ever pull their lives together and become productive, happy members of society, they will have a whole host of people to thank for it. All those people, and the many more to come, who have and will stand up to them, tell them no, tell them off, and hold up a big, metaphorical mirror to them so one day they might realize what little disgraces to the human species they are. Imagine a few years down the road, once their brains start fully working and they get some actual experience in life – the point after you realize you do not, in fact, know everything – when they realize what they wasted a good chunk of their youth on; what they were actually fighting for and against. 

What a horrible moment it will be to realize that you were the Nazi, that you called for the extermination of the Jews simply because some terrorists propagandized you into embracing your stupid; for some likes on social media. How do you live with yourself? 

If that ever happens to any of them, they will likely embrace the furniture, the style of government, all the creature comforts afforded them as humans by those evil, colonizing white men they so desperately hated when they were younger. Back when, in the name of enlightenment, they embraced the philosophies and tactics of likes of Hitler, Lenin and Stalin. All white colonizers…

Wait, you mean they’re…yep. These people are that stupid. 

So, keep defending the flag, straight white men, it has not gone unnoticed or unappreciated. At a certain point, when Democratic Party politicians refuse to do their jobs to restore order, normal people will step up and do it for them, then toss their asses out of office. You guys defending the flag are the tip of that spear. And wouldn’t you know it, the spear is another thing invented by evil whitey.

None of this matters, of course, I point it out to illustrate the absurdity of the left. I do, however, hope to at least see videos of these people when they do realize what they were when they were young, and how they wasted much of their lives. Not just to say “I told you so,” but to…ok, it’s just to say that. Screw them all.