Are Democrats Really This Dumb?

You’d think with the inauguration of Joe Biden tomorrow, and the special election in Georgia two weeks ago, that the fundraising emails would dry up. If you thought that, you’d be wrong. Not only have they not stopped, they haven’t even slowed down. And they’ve gotten dumber. That they keep coming implies they work, that they work makes me think Democrats are really, really dumb.

There isn’t much Democrats won’t try to exploit when money is on the line. We’ve seen them fundraise off of murders and riots, so nothing is sacred in pursuit of the dollar. Here are some quotes from a few of the most paranoid, angry, and just plain dumb fundraising emails Democrats have sent in just the last week. (Any and all spelling and grammar errors, like the idiocy in the words, are all theirs. ALL emails were sent on January 16th.)

“Convicting Trump isn’t just about ending his presidency. It’s about making sure he can NEVER run for office again. That’s why we NEED Trump to be convicted. But without your support, we’ll fall short of our 50,000 donation goal and fail miserably. So Derek, can you rush a $5 or $25 donation to pressure the Senate to CONVICT Trump and ensure he NEVER runs for office again?” At least they admit it’s about preventing President Trump from running ever again, how $25 bucks from some sucker, of 50,000 suckers, who think conviction is even a remote possibility remains a mystery.

“We’re INCHES from passing H.R. 1 Bill, the For The People Act, into LAW!!  This would be a MAJOR accomplishment for Joe Biden’s presidency… we REFUSE to blow this opportunity.  So we’re raising $15,000 by 11:59 PM tonight to expand Joe Biden’s Majority and PASS HR 1 into LAW. And our top donors just agreed to 300%-MATCH every dollar donated in the next [1] hour!! Please give generously.”  How they plan to “expand” the majority in the House without an election, they don’t say (again, the email was sent January 16th). Just like they don’t say how having $15k in their pockets will make that more likely.

“I’m about to ask you for $1. But first, let me explain why donations from our 2O21 Democratic Members are so important. Republicans are constantly trying to defeat our Democrats. And they’ve wasted no time amassing millions of dollars to do it. I need to raise $25,OOO today alone to build the war chest necessary to defend our Majority. But I’m running out of time,” reads an email signed by Nancy Pelosi. What’s with the talk of “war”? I thought Democrats had a problem with “violent” language?

“This is an official Focus Group on the Biden-Harris Transition. We want your input on the election, Biden’s brand-new cabinet, the administration’s top priorities, and more. We’re compiling and reviewing each and every response as it comes. This is a very long survey. We expect many Democrats will not want to finish the entire survey. If you can finish, your responses and input will be personally reviewed…” The number of multiple choice questions in the “survey” the embedding link sends you to is seven, none of which mentions any Cabinet position or nomination. My 3-year-old could finish it in 20 seconds.

“Barack Obama was one of the BEST presidents we have ever had.  He handled his position as Commander-in-Chief with dignity and grace, and worked tirelessly for the future of this country.  But most importantly, he believed in equality and justice for ALL Americans, and was truly dedicated to making our country a better place. That’s why Joe Biden has considered putting him on the Supreme Court!!” That’s a lot of crazy packed into just 66 words.

Most of these emails come with the promise of a “350% match,” which begs the question: if someone is willing to turn a $100 donation into a $450 donation, why don’t they just give the $350 and leave people alone? Why is it conditional on other suckers giving? That’s because it’s not real, of course, but it can make someone unable to afford to give, dig into their fixed income because they think it will have a much larger impact than it can really have. It’s quite disgusting, if you think about it.

The end of election season hasn’t even slowed down the pace of fundraising appeals, nor has it dampened the anger, fear, and paranoia used to keep rich campaign consultants and party fat-cats knee-deep in coke and hookers. It must work. As H.L. Mencken said, “No one in this world, so far as I know, has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people.” Democrats are proving this true on a daily basis.